TOP 5 HIGHLIGHTS OF 2014

2014 was the year I did my first interviews with international musicians and athletes, it’s also the year I learnt to be comfortable with how I look and sound in front of the camera. The tipping point came when I split my mind to create a new on camera personality named $kinny Mo’, he’s crazy, he’s weird and he wants to take over the world.

There were very good moments, and a few bad ones like when I was violently attacked and robbed of my brand new Nikon DSLR camera while an armed security guard watched on and coward in fear in his patrol car. Damn, I get high blood pressure just thinking about that.  

Merked in the 'Burbs made headlines on Mahala magazine

There were also many sleepless nights I spent staring at the ceiling wishing I could get more recognition and better payment for my hard work.

But Rome wasn’t built in a day, and the greatest talk show hosts and entertainment reporters didn’t become legends overnight. That’s why I’m so excited about 2015, I expect it to be the year my stuff goes viral and my bank account bloats as a result.

Here are my 5 best highlights of 2014 in descending order; I just get high from the nostalgia J  

5: Eminem in Joburg

The only reason why this isn’t at number 1 is cos media wasn’t even allowed to photograph him live, let alone do a press conference or one on one interview. WHY EMINEM WHY?! Oh well, I still got to see him rap live, I even shed a tear or two when he performed Stan and The Way I Am. Read my earlier blog, Eminem in South Africa for the detailed review.

4: Red Bull X-Fighters invading the Union Buildings

That's me and the crazy + cocky Adam Jones, the US rider who finished 3rd. Respect bro!

Take the Union Buildings lawns in Pretoria, add more than 10 000 tons of Martian red soil, a dozen (FMX) freestyle motocross riders from different countries doing weird sounding daredevil tricks on their dirt bikes and you more or less got a picture of  what the Red Bull X-Fighters looked like. The media pit was right in front of the track, so we got some up-close footage of the death defying stunts. Not to mention a good taste of the dirt spewed out by the riders’ wheels, yummy. The X-Fighters were so successful that they are coming back again to the Union Buildings this year, I’ll drink a Red Bull to that. Here is my interview with the US and Aussieriders plus Nick De Wit, the only South African competing in the event.  

3. Denise and Pam’s outfits at the Channel O Awards

It’s 2015 and people still talking about what actresses Denise Zimba and Pam Andrews were wearing, or rather barely wore at the 2014 Channel O Africa Music Video Awards.  I nearly slipped on my own puddle of drool when I saw that cheeky clit ring protruding out of Pam’s snatch which her black lace dress didn’t do well in concealing. Then my eyeballs popped out of their sockets when I saw Denise’s flawless bum cheeks wiggling like jelly through her dress which was also a black see through ensemble, er, coincidence? You can actually hear me stutter and see me swallowing a few times while interviewing both ladies, may the gods have mercy on me for lusting like this, but can we have a threesome girls?

Me: Are you a nudist? Pam: Oh yes I'm a very big nudist!

2. Interviewing Crystal Fighters from London

Sebastian and Gilbert are some of the band members from one of London’s leading alternative rock bands, Crystal Fighters. Sure, they both seriously need a haircut, but what they must definitely not loose is their extreme sense of humility and respect for all living creatures from humans to birds to trees. How many white people have you heard saying stuff like, “we are glad to be in SA, the birthplace of humanity?”True hippies indeed, after the interviews they shared some cold beverages with us, then we got to watch them climb trees and they got really high ;) Check out my interview with Crystal Fighters on Channel MK...

1   1.Meeting Big Sean

It was my first time inside the ultra-luxurious, 6 star, Michelangelo Towers hotel in Sandton, we caught an elevator up to the super expensive suites near the top floors, waited a few minutes and then boom, one of Kanye West’s best protégés Big Sean came down to have an interview with me. Despite his gigantic gold rings, chains, Rolex watch he was incredibly friendly, the exact opposite of the arrogant douche bag I perceived him to be.

Click on this caption to view the Rolling Stone SA interview 

Just a day earlier, i got into a physical altercation with SA’s most infamously arrogant rapper AKA and his dick riders, ironically he was Sean’s opening act yet acted like the night was all about him, this is the same hypocrite who complains about the poor respect local musicians get when opening for international stars like Big Sean, er, maybe its cos musicians like you are assholes!  Enough talk about girls… I was hella nervous, and fumbled a lot during the Big Sean interview but ever since, my confidence in front of the camera has skyrocketed and $kinny Mo was eventually born as a resultant. My first interview of the year, my first international interviewee, is also my number 1 highlight of 2014. Love you Sean, NO HOMO!  

View the I Speak Hip Hop interview here

WHAT WERE THE MOST EXCITING HIGHLIGHTS FOR YOU IN 2014?

Africa's Own Evil Knievel

*This story is in the current August 2014 edition of Indwe, inflight magazine for SA Express Airways. Read the online version here

I’m interviewing ‘Sick Nick’ De Wit, world number five and Africa’s number one ranked FMX (Freestyle Motocross) champion at a coffee shop in Hatfield, Pretoria. I’m asking the 33 year old Joburger if he ever gets scared of crashing while doing summersaults on his dirt bike and ending up paralyzed or dead. His reply stings like a back hand klap across the Grim Reapers face.   

“If you’re going to die, you’re going to die, don’t let fear of death stop you from achieving your destiny.” He pauses to take a sip from his frothy coffee, locking eyes with me, as if examining if his answer unnerved me somehow…It did, and I think he noticed. “You have to be extremely cautious and have 0% fear to avoid crashes.” 

He says it annoyingly, like talking about crashing will jinx his next stunt. His tone softens while discussing his love for the sport however.

Nick grabbed his first pair of handlebars at age 13 doing motocross races and never let go, but he disliked FMX originally. “When I first saw FMX in the late 90s I thought the riders were insane and I’d never do it.”  Only after winning the FMX competition at Cape Town’s 2002 Woodstock Music Festival did he discover his FMX calling. He won every show until the competition’s liquidation in 2009. In 2003, Red Bull approached Nick with a sponsorship offer that changed his life.

Since then Nick has been stunting in exotic locations worldwide, barely having time to hose his bike before getting called to ramp it in another international venue. He’s also the first African to compete in the Red Bull X Fighters, the boss of FMX competitions. “I rode at the X-Fighters in Spain and Germany in 2009 and Cairo in 2010. I’ve also rode in Singapore, Tunisia, Columbia, Taiwan, Japan, Peru, Dubai, Germany, Namibia and Brazil.”

 He also performed at the world’s biggest action sports tour Nitro Circus at its first tour of Africa in SA this year. Other noteworthy stunts he’s accomplished include setting the world record for the highest FMX show at 3.5km above sea level in La Paz, Bolivia.

On August 23^rd, Red Bull X-Fighters World Tour will host its finale at Pretoria’s Union Buildings for the first time in Africa, and Nick loves it. “I’ll have home ground advantage, and the best thing about it is that I won’t have to sit in a plane for hours and endure jet lag.”

Preparations include tough physical training at the University of Pretoria’s High Performance Centre, and punishing his bike in his backyard motocross circuit, “I’m lucky to have a big piece of land I could develop into a FMX course. It’s got landings, ramps and a foam pit.”

Nick knows he will be up against the meanest FMX riders like feared Frenchman and defending champion Tom Pagès. To gain advantage Nick urges South Africans to show up and show love, “bring vuvuzela’s if you want” he says. But can spectators expect any new teeth gritting tricks? “I’m working on many new tricks. I can’t divulge my secrets but you’ll be blown away.”

With that the interview ended, and the waiter brought our bills on one receipt, I requested separate bills, but Nick politely offered to pay both tabs under one condition, “as long as you promise to come and support me at Union Buildings.” While rising to leave we bumped fists and I confirm, “Ofcourse, I’ll even bring my vuvuzela.” 

LEARNING LESSONS | RED BULL BEAT BATTLE

I wrote this article for Mahala, a free South African music, culture & reality magazine who uploaded it yesterday, June 5 2014. Photos by Luke Daniel. Video by CFTV

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m as fanatical about hip hop as Boko Haram is about kidnapping school girls… so my views on other music and dance sub-cultures are undoubtedly skewed and somewhat condescending. For example, I can barely stand house music or sbhujwa culture and I think anything associated with pantsula is as backward as grown-ass men with cornrows.

Look, hip hop has the best dancers in the country hands down, and if you disagree then consider that 90% of all major dance competitions in SA are won by hip hop dancers. Consider the annual Red Bull Beat Battle, which was held last weekend at Walter Sisulu Square in Soweto. The 100k cash prize and drum trophy has (almost) always rotated amongst hip hop crews, ever since the competition’s inception in 2011. The only exception was when a sbhujwa crew called Prophelaz broke the tradition by winning last year.

So I went into the hall confidently thinking I would see MY culture reclaim the drum and consolidate its dominance in SA’s dance scene… but oh I was so wrong.

There were eight crews, half were hip hop and the other four were sbhujwas and pantsulas. By the second round it was clear that the non hip hop crews were going to dominate.

Take the battle between hip hoppers Supreme 1 and Panzan Entertainment – while Panzan performed, Supreme huddled up and wrote “boring” on a large piece of paper and held it up until their competitors finished performing. But their protest was nothing but a gimmick. When it was Supreme’s turn to dance, they were met with howls and boo’s from the audience and discerning dance heads. Even their ghoulish make up couldn’t hide the disappointment on their faces when the judges and crowd voted unanimously for Panzan to progress to the next round.

The other hip hop crew, Psyko Souljahz, also got knocked out in the early stages and Prophelaz took out Warrior Knights from Durban who wore riot gear to bolster their battle tactics. Sure, but all I can remember is the image of a Warrior Knight member crying backstage after losing to Prophelaz. It just shows that the tide is turning… it will go down in history that 2014 was the year sbhujwa dancers sent hip hop crews home crying to their mommies!

In the end, the hip hop crew Freeze Frame proved to be the last bastion of the culture, and they were too good for their competitors. The destroyed pantsula crew Fire, and eventually went on to take overall victory after squeaking past Prophelaz in the final to take the crown.

But for me (and most people at the battle), the real heroes of the day were Panzan Entertainment, a sbhujwa crew from The Vaal. Panzan fuse elements of Latin American beats and rhythms with basic indigenous dance and their own sbhujwa flavour. Early in the competition, I noticed that one of its members was dancing on steel crutches, which I thought were props… just to add flair to their routine. It was only later on that I realised Musa Motha of Panzan was an actual amputee. Panzan Entertainment made it to the semi’s of arguably the biggest and most competitive dance battle in the country, despite one of their members having a disability. Musa’s bravery and skill humbled me greatly.

But in the semi’s, Panzan  ran out tricks and energy and were beaten by the far superior Prophelaz, who went on to face Freeze Frame and take second place on the podium.

After Panzan’s performance in the semi’s, one of the judges, Somizi Mhlongo, stood up from the judge’s table with a mic and awarded them R20 000 for “showing us that nothing is impossible in this world.”

So instead of gloating about a hip hop crew winning the 2014 Red Bull Beat Battle, I must instead pay homage to Somizi Mhlongo and Panzan Entertainment for teaching everyone a few lessons in life last weekend. I learned that you can NEVER underestimate anyone and it’s irrelevant what music you dance to… what matters is how you use your passion to achieve things haters said you never could. It took one sbhujwa dancer to open my mind to the bigger picture. Respect.

Book Review: Slave Species of God

Author: Michael Tellinger

Genre: Conspiracy/Adult-fiction

Publisher: Zulu Planet Publishers

Year: 2005

Rating: 3 reading glasses 

In the icy cold outer fringes of our solar system, floats Nibiru, a red planet several times larger than Earth which is inhabited by giant, highly intelligent and technologically advanced humanoids called the Annunaki who possess incomprehensible life spans.

The Annunaki

Every 3 600 years, Nibiru’s protracted elliptical orbit brings it blazing through the inner solar system like a wild comet, cutting through the orbits of Mars and Jupiter at its perigee. But millions of years ago, one of Nibiru’s moons collided with Tiamat, a planet which existed between Mars and Jupiter, shattering it to pieces (creating the debris field known as the Asteroid Belt today) and damaging Nibiru’s fragile ozone layer, leaving its surface life exposed to lethal solar radiation.  

Prompted by this natural disaster, the Niburuans dispatched astronauts to Earth to search for gold which they would crush to a fine powder and scatter in their upper atmosphere in order to create an artificial ozone layer to save their world.  They found an abundance of gold in Southern Africa but after tens of thousands of years of toiling in the mines, the Annunaki miners staged a Marikana style revolt which brought their inter-planetary mining mission to a halt for some time.

As a solution, one of the mission commando’s Enki proposed; “let us create a primitive worker” to lessen the Annunaki’s workload. This primitive worker was created by splicing Annunaki DNA with the DNA of large African apes. After much trial and error they created the first Earthling 250 000 years ago whose clones were sent into the gold mines to work as genetically engineered slaves, hence the book title Slave Species of God.

So where is the originality?

If you think Michael Tellinger used this book to add an original theory to the ancient astronaut hypothesis think again. Those who’ve read not only Zecharia Sitchin’s material, but books written by other extra-terrestrial ‘experts’ like Eric von Donaken or UFO cult leader Rael in the 60s and 70s about aliens coming to Earth in remote times and creating humans through DNA synthesising won’t find much that will surprise them in this book.

Moreover, the book almost reads like a transcript from an episode of Ancient Aliens on theHistory Channel, which has cranky looking UFO experts like Giorgio Tsoukalis crediting aliens for unexplained technological marvels in distant history, because we all know people in those times were too primitive to do it by themselves.  “Who built the pyramids? Aliens!”

“How could savage man have known about distant solar systems? Duh, aliens!”  

Michael Tellinger (left) and Giorgio Tsoukalis from the Ancient Aliens TV series. Who took this picture? Probably aliens! Source: facebook

Face palm slap moments

Tellinger also applies that ‘aliens made everything modern Europeans can’t explain’ mind set. E.g. he admits Africans sailed to Mexico thousands of years before the Spanish, siting the giant Olmec stone heads in South America as evidence, but there is no way Blacks were smart enough to navigate the Atlantic on their own so long ago , so he proposes one logical explanation… Bingo, aliens!

The racial subjectivity later contradicts itself. At one point he states how the Annunaki created the Si-ga-ga  or the Black Headed People which was Sumerian for Africans, ‘in their image and likeness’, which would mean the Annunaki had prominent African racial features. However, later on he says the Annunaki were definitely Caucasian, because the Sumerian description of the biblical Noah (who was apparently a human/Annunaki hybrid) describes him as having skin as white as snow and eyes as blue as the sky i.e. Aryan features. With this info I would deduct that the Annunaki were a multi-racial people at the very least. But that’s something Tellinger evidently can’t digest.

Let me guess, aliens cut that rock? Source: Facebook

Moreover, on the last page of the book which is a map of Africa and the Middle East, Tellinger labelled regions like Southern African as Monomotapa and Middle Eastern empires as Mesopotamia and Anatolia, which is what the natives living in those regions called their kingdoms. Yet he omits calling Egypt by what its inhabitants of the same time period called it; Khemit which means The Black Land. If he could research the original names of Southern African and Middle Eastern empires, why continue calling Khemit, an African nation, by what its Greek invaders called it, Egypt?

But you should still read it

Slave Species didn’t become a South African bestseller for nothing. Even if you don’t necessarily believe in extra-terrestrials, UFOs or any contemporary texts about aliens meddling with human DNA in our remote past, this book is an excellent bite size starter to satisfy any curiosity you have about the UFO/ET phenomenon currently sweeping the world by storm.

Apparently Tellinger is a qualified pharmacist. This slightly diminishes his nutter demeanor and adds weighty credibility to his facts about human physiology the opening chapters discuss in detail. (They psychologically prepare readers for later chapters which might be too horrific for squeamish readers to absorb).

Tellinger's Ubuntu political party failed dismally in this years national elections. He doesn't blame aliens but he says the Reserve Bank rigged the results so Ubuntu couldn't get a seat in parliament...Yep, sure they did. Source: facebook

In conclusion

Slave Species is a good summary of many ancient astronaut texts, a simple go to book for curious people who want to know about the subject in one sitting without having to painstakingly read different books or watch an entire season of Ancient Aliens.

Thanks to fossil evidence the world now knows for a fact that the first human was South African, and it’s about time local writers instead of arrogant Westerners write books detailing this incredible creation of our species here, even though the local writer in this case is a white Englishman with tinges of racial and religious bias. Nonetheless Slave Species provides an excellent African point of view of humanity’s origins and future. 

Master Dancer: Katlego Mphahlele

This is a transcript of a story I wrote that is published on page 38 of the current print edition of global monthly magazine, Red Bulletin. To read the full story get your free copy available at every Sportscene outlet in South Africa. 

Katlego Mphahlele was a key member of dance crew IDA as they powered to Red Bull Beat Battle glory in 2013, but this year’s Battle is shaping up as an even bigger opportunity to showcase his sbujwa moves and beat-mixing skills.

Katlego Mphahlele (aka Sii) might only be 23, but he’s been a professional dancer almost half his life. Growing up in Tembisa township, east of Johannesburg, dance was a way of life: polishing moves on the street, earning a buck at corporate gigs, and building a profile by competing on TV dance shows. A master of sbujwa and pantsula, Katlego’s life got real when he was thrust into fatherhood at the age of 20. Spurred on by the arrival of a baby boy, Sii had little choice but to continue to dance his butt off to support his kid. He has toured Europe, made cameo appearances on Culoe De Song’s music videos, built a reputation as a producer and, of course, helped IDA – Indigenous Dance Academy – make history when they became the first non hip-hop crew to win Red Bull Beat Battle last year. IDA’s champion crew has since dissolved, but all the main members have regrouped and will be defending their title on June 7, this time as Prophelaz, and they’ll be dancing to beats produced by Sii’s house band, Drumetic Boyz.

The Red Bulletin: Why did you leave IDA?
Katlego Mphahlele: We left IDA a month before last year’s Red Bull Beat Battle for certain reasons, like the overall transparency of management. But because we had already auditioned and qualified, we couldn’t change the name, so we danced as IDA and formed Prophelaz after winning.

Sii with his crew IDA now known as Prophellaz at a Red Bull photo shoot. Source: Katlego's Facebook page

Has the crew’s split benefited or disadvantaged you?
It has benefited all five crew members: we have grown tremendously since then and we all know what we are working for.

What progress have Prophelaz made?
We were back-up dancers in Culoe De Song’s Make You Move video as well as in his new video No Contest, which we shot two weeks ago. Beatenberg have also shown interest in having us dance in their upcoming video.

How does performing in the streets compare to taking your dance overseas?
Only your peers and screaming groupies will respect you for street dance. Our parents only began taking us seriously when they heard we were going overseas with this; we got props from young kids to senior citizens when we were in Europe.

Little did Prophellaz know that they would win the competition after this photo shoot.

Where did you tour?
We went to France in 2011 for three months when we had a dance theatre show called uKjika with the old IDA crew. I went to Switzerland in 2011 to DJ at a club called Cancun. And three of us were in Italy three weeks before the 2013 Beat Battle as back-up dancers for PJ Powers.

Tell us more about Drumetic Boyz…
Drumetic Boyz is a DJ duo consisting of William ‘Widjo’ Chilimba and myself. We formed the duo because we have so much in common: we’re both dancers, producers and house DJs.

Read the full story in May's issue of The Red Bulletin.

Eminem in South Africa: Review, Pics & Video

This is a video, article and pictorial of the Eminem concert that happened in Ellis Park, Johannesburg, 1 March 2014. All photo's are sourced from Gas Photographic and Rolling Stone South Africa. Video Sourced from Tenn iBair

Only photographers at the Cape Town event were allowed to take pics of Em during his performance. Lucky bastards

“I love Joburg…’Cos I’m fucking someone’s mom tonight.”  Eminem’s hype man Mr Porter was typically vulgar at Eminem’s concert in Ellis Park on 1 March 2014. He said this after asking someone in the crowd if their mom was a MILF (Mom I’d Like to Fuck).

Viva South Africa!

Mr Porter has a big mouth, but Eminem never said much in between songs to the 60k plus crowd of roaring fans who were hypnotized by the supernatural like aura of the self-proclaimed rap god.

Jack Parrow, hosts a hip hop set in Afrikaans...

The concert also allowed me to experience Afrikaans rapper Jack Parrow’s energy live for the first time. He had a full on live band; guitarists, drummers, vocalist plus a DJ who all added that unplugged feel to his set.

It was drizzling a bit when Action Bronson, the New York rapper tagging along with Em’, came on after Jack and first thing he did when he appeared on stage was lighting up a marijuana joint, after which he asked the crowd if they know who he is, where he is from, if they are enjoying the show etc but not without using a whole lot of fucks as conjunctions for his sentences.

Action’s performance was barely average, his raps are pretty sharp though unnecessarily vulgar, while his flow brings back nostalgic memories of mid 90s New York rap. Not really sure if he will become a phenomena in SA anytime soon though.

Action Bronson rocking a Bok jersey while smoking zol during his CPT show, Spliffbokke?.

DJ PH, a local hip hop DJ, came on before Jack and got us warmed up with commercial and underground rap music mixed with a little bit of boom bap. After his set PH received claps from the 10k or so people who had arrived early. Not really sure who the other DJ was but he was so wack nobody even noticed or gave a fuck that his set got cut prematurely.

Eminem came on early in the evening and wasted no time shooting raps like an AK, flawlessly, word for word, with non-of that  lip syncing bull shit most international artists shove down our throats when they perform on our shores.

And like true pro’s, neither he nor Mr.Porter stuttered or got their lines tangled when they rapped the second and third tongue twisting, super-fast verses in Rap God.

A facade with the word Eminem projected onto it just before it dropped to reveal Eminem who was standing behind it. 

Em’ also performed controversial songs like White America & Kill You plus majors like Love The Way You Lie and Monster, using a live songstress for Rihanna’s chorus’s which everyone appreciated.

Mr. Porter or Kon Artis’ as he was known when him and Eminem were part of  the now defunct 6 man rap crew D12, is a hype man’s wet dream and the show wouldn’t have been half as dope if he wasn’t there to shadow Eminem, mimicking and backing every song so flawlessly the songs could just as easily been his.

Eminem brought out Royce Da 59, his home boy from way back in the 90s and early 2000s when the two were giants in underground rap, and the other half of Eminem’s latest rap crew, a duo called Bad Meets Evil, to perform Lighters, a joint which features Bruno Mars on the chorus.

"I'm slim Shady cos im the real Shady...Please stand up" Watch these blondes try rapping The Real Slim Shady here

After that, both Em’ and Mr.Porter vacated the stage so Royce could spit one solo track on his own. Thereafter Em came back on to wrap up  his short but very sweet show, which had so many verbal nukes it’s a miracle the stadium didn’t get razed after the bombardment.

"I feel like there weren't enough fans, people just came here cos its 'Eminem' " Listen to the rest of his opinion here

Ellis Park is famously known as the stadium where former president Nelson Mandela and 1995 Springbok captain Francois Pienaar lifted the rugby world cup together,  but there are many similiarities between that and the Rapture2014 concert…

And this was just the Golden Circle hours before the main show

…Eminem’s show filled up the stadium, it united South African’s of different colours and it stirred up many sentimental emotions… So fuck it, why not rename Ellis Park the Marshal Mather’s Stadium?

Watch what people thought about the concert on our vox pops

My Q&A with Big Sean

The following videos of my interview with Big Sean are from I Speak Hip Hop and Rolling Stone conducted at the Michelangelo Towers, Sandton, Johannesburg on Sunday, 2 February 2014.

Big Sean and I smiling for a selfie

"Rolling Stone SA's Mooketsi Nthite caught up with BET and Billboard award winning rapper Big Sean after his first performance in Mzansi at Axecess Jozi on the 1st of February. They riff on the concept of homosexuality in hip-hop, light skin girls vs. dark skin girls, the rapper's early days and his upcoming wedding."

"In 9th grade I got made fun of a lot cos I didn't have the newest clothes."

"Kendrick Lamar is my homy, he calls me, texts me asks how I'm doing..."

"There is nothing wrong with being gay, I have many gay friends." View interview here

View interview here