How The 2013 SA Hip Hop Awards Beat The Fails

*This is a story I wrote that got published on Rolling Stone South Africa in December 2013

'RMG calls the show "South Africa's version of the BET Hip Hop Awards" but er, let's not gets too ahead of ourselves now...'

Off the dome, there are mad reasons I could raise on why the second annual South African Hip Hop Awards [SAHHAs] sucked. Firstly, they started more than two hours late and secondly, the VIPs and ordinary guests loitered around the theatre, waiting for the show to start. They also finished at 2am, which inconvenienced those who had to go to work the same morning.

But despite the negatives, the event was still kind of successful.

Here are a few reasons why the 2013 SAHHAs were dope, despite the blunders:
After waiting for more than two hours for the show to start, the audience's patience was sorely tested and tempers were wearing thin; an angry mob would have trashed the place demanding their money back. But thanks to the the showmanship of emcees/comedians J-Boboza and Pule 'The White Skhotane' we eventually simmered down and forgave the organisers, Ritual Media Group (RMG).

I was totally weirded out when a coffin was bought out on stage and Pule did the whole skhotane thing by pouring Ultra-Mel custard all over it. But the crowd breathed a sigh of relief when J-Boboza emerged from the coffin (alive) and the two proceeded with their gags, which included dissing Tuk's fledgling rap career and advising former Yo.Tv presenter and beatmaker Psyfo to stick to what he knew best - which isn't rapping (ouch!).
Tickets were sold out! And that's a bloody good thing to hear... the only time you ever get to hear of a hip-hop gig selling out in this country is when an international rapper is the headline performer.

The small theatre which takes around 400 people was quite cramped and some even stood while others just sat on the flight of stairs leading to the back rows; clearly RMG needs to consider a bigger venue next year.

So Mr Fresh to Def Da L.E.S emerged on stage with his new single "Fire", accompanied by pole-dancer Diamond, so scantily dressed even Smiley Virus would do a double take. I'll never forget how she pulled herself all the way up the pink pole and crashed down on the floorboard with a split, using her exposed buttocks like bouncing airbags to cushion the fall. I've never seen anything like it in any live hip-hop performance and am surprised nobody threw money at the girl. By the way, "Fire" has all the hooks to be a banger this summer.

When Pule and J-Boboza brought out a shirtless Rick Ross, the guy sitting next to me got so excited he nearly jumped out of his seat. Alas, it wasn't the real Rick Ross - just an identical lookalike, right down to the beard, saggy man-boobs and even the trademark grunt, huh! If the lookalike, whoever he was, had tattoos all over his body I swear the audience would've had a hard time believing he wasn't the real deal. Combined with J-Boboza and Pule's antics, these three characters had the entire theatre roaring with laughter.

Thirty pyramid-shaped SAHHA trophies were awarded to the respective winners of the 30 categories. These included all the elements of the art form: graffiti, rap, DJ'ing and dance, along with nine categories dedicated to the "king" of each province. Ghetto Ruff boss Lance Stehr won the Honorary Award, DJ Dimples won three awards, while HHP prodigy Casper Nyovest scooped four Pyramids, more than any other nominee.
The SAHHAs were riddled with embarrassing technical glitches. I lost count of how many times the sound inexplicably cut out whenever the announcers or emcees were on the mic. And there was the time when they screened The Corner, a pre-recorded cypher showing emcees rapping, yet the disc was so scratched that when it was played back, the video was completely inaudible; some audience members could be seen covering their ears to block out the noise.

RMG calls the show "South Africa's version of the BET Hip Hop Awards" but er, let's not get too ahead of ourselves now; maybe we could say that when the ceremony is no longer run on a shoestring budget. Nevertheless, the SAHHAs are exactly what SA's fractured hip-hop community needs - unity.

SA hip-hop has truly come a long way; but we still have a long way to go.

Full list of South African Hip Hop Awards Winners

Milestone Award - Zakwe
Honorary Award – Lance Sterh
King of Western Cape – Damian Stephens
King of Eastern Cape – Yahkeem Ben Israel
King of Northern Cape – Kgomotso Modiragale
King of North West – DJ Lemonka
King of Mpumalanga – Mfundo Nyambi
King of Kwa-Zulu Natal – Moja Pooh
King of Gauteng – DJ Dimplez
King of Limpopo – Space Munna
King of Free State – Lucky Uncle Spark Segopa
Freshman of the year – Cassper Nyovest
Best Collabo – Cassper Nyovest ft Okmalumkoolkat- Gusheshe
Best Dance Crew – Vintage
Best Female – Gigi LaMayne Best Male
Best Male – Khuli Chana
Best Graffiti Artist – Mars
Best International Brand – Miller Genuine Draft
Best Local Brand – Head Honcho
Best Lyricist – Reason
Best Mixtape – The Blow Up (Dream Team)
Best Radio Show – The Stir Up- 5FM (Ms Cosmo)
DJ of the Year – DJ Dimplez
Hustler of the Year – DJ Dimplez
Most Valuable - AKA
Producer of the Year – PH
Promoter of the Year – Dream Team Talent
Video of the Year – Gusheshe (Cassper Nyovest ft Okmalumkoolkat)
Song of the Year – Gusheshe (Cassper Nyovest ft Okmalumkoolkat)
Album of the Year – Lost In Time (Khuli Chana)

FIVE Reasons why the 2013 Mercedes Benz Africa Fashion Week Rocked

*This is story I wrote that got published on Joburg Style in December 2013

Thirty fashion designers from 15 different countries showcased some seriously edgy hauteur couture at the Mercedes Benz Africa Fashion Week last week. What made the event even more memorable was that it wasn’t hosted in South Africa’s ‘go to’ major cities ( i.e.  Slaapstad or the usual media hog Joburg), but it all went down in our beautiful capital city, Pretoria, for the first time, just when the purple flowered Jacaranda trees were in full summer bloom.

The gig took place at the Tshwane City hall and, I must admit, I was a bit sceptical of my own hometown’s ability to pull off a major fashion show like this in a better manner than the prominent fashion capitals of the world. But, merely  five minutes after arriving at the show, the elegance, creativity and sheer magnitude of the gig eliminated any doubts. Mercedes Benz Africa Fashion Week 2013 was absolutely incredible, and here are five reasons why it rocked.

1.    Alek Wek was there

The first African supermodel to feature on the cover of Elle, Alek Wek, who hails from Sudan and was described as “unconventionally beautiful” by a journalist friend of mine, was one of the main attractions of the show. Many South African’s might also know her as the stark black model in the Amarula advert – and man, did I nearly drown in free Amarula! She also gave inspirational messages on Africa being a rising continent and the importance of why African unity matters.

2.    The crowd

The fashion and the people not on the run way were just as interesting and, er, weird. I couldn’t help cracking up every time I saw a man dressed in drag, but other, uh, fashionable people from Pretoria’s cool crowd also rocked up. By cool I also mean billionaire Patrice Matsipe, one of the city’s most famous residents, who remained discreet. And, of course, there were a lot of model chicks, some way too skinny for my liking. But the busty Swedish blonde who gave me her numbers will do just fine for me!

3.    The Twitter buzz

It’s been about 72 hours since the end of the show and social networks are still buzzing. Actually, props rolled in before the show even started. Referring to how she answered questions at a press interview @alexischaffe said: Alek Wek has all the answers – what an impressive woman. 

@Kyle_Boshoff said:#MBFWAFRICA is my favourite time of the year. Such talent and drive on this continent, 

and @Mandla_M_ was blown away by one of the designers’ clothes, @taibobacar’s show on Thursday. Your garments were absolutely breathtaking. #MBFWA . 

@ZeeZee_Mncwango said; going through @AFI_sa, AFI_fastrack captions felt like I was going through images of an international fashion week. Brilliant.

4.    The talent

The show was steaming with sizzling hot talent. Featured designers included Taibo Bacar from Mozambique (winner of the year 2012 Designer of the Year AFI Africa Fashion Awards) as well as Mille Collines from Rwanda, Mina Evans and Duaba Serwa from Ghana, Projecto Mento from Angola and our very own David Tlale and Thula Sindi. At the 2013 Africa Fashion Awards hosted in Joburg, Kluk CDGT took the Designer of the Year title, Gavin Rajah took SA Tourism Designer of the Year Award while Grace Bol was crowned Model of the Year.

5.    The off-site venues

One of the event’s off-site venues, Freedom Park, beamed strobe lights during Kluk CDGT’s performance. But it wasn’t after the end of the show when the models all came out and actually walked in the water fountain wearing their garments, strobe lights beaming in the background that the entire crowd gasped in awe. But David Tlale also shut it down at his off-site venue by presenting his collection on a railway platform at Rovos Rail Station in Capital Park. Daaamn!

* Photographs supplied or by courtesy of the Africa Fashion International (AFI) official Facebook page.

Did Africa Fashion Week 2013 Help Redeem Pretoria's Image?

*This is a story i wrote that got published on JHB Live

Seriously, I'm gatvol of hearing Capetonians and Joburgers brag about how 'international' their cities are. I mean, the closest Pretoria ever gets to hosting big international names is when President Zuma welcomes foreign dignitaries into the Union Buildings. When I discovered the 2013 Mercedes Benz Africa Fashion Week event (boasting 20 runway shows and 30 designers from 15 countries) was happening at Pretoria's Tshwane City Hall a fortnight ago, I was like 'Yeah baby!'

Still, I'm surprised none of the starving models vomited and slipped on their own puke on their way down the catwalk.

At the show, I asked several people what they thought of the designers' ensembles and how Tshwane's fashion compares with the work showcased in the international scene. My first attempt was with a local drag queen.

Mooketsi: What do you think of the clothes on the catwalk tonight?

Drag Queen: I'm feeling that Mozambican Taebo Bacar's evening gowns. I'd definitely wear that, but with snake print heels from Thula Sindi.

At the bar, I encountered a beautiful blonde with a strange accent. Turns out she flew in from Sweden.

Mooketsi: Does Tshwane compare favourably with Europe's fashion capitals?

Swedish Model: Ja definitely. I was surprised to discover Art Neviole Emporium is from Tshwane. I thought he was international.

Mooketsi (clearing my throat): Wow. Um. Can I get your numbers?

On the last night, we were shuttled to Freedom Park for KLUK CGDT's show. The models actually strutted their stuff INSIDE the fountain's ankle-high water. I asked this Capetonian oke if Pretoria's fashion has anything on the Mother City's.

Capetonian Oke: Pretoria still has a long way to go if it's to beat us as a fashion capital, but we shouldn't even be competing against each other. We should unite as one fashion nation, cooperating instead of competing.

It's a nice thought, Cape Town. I know I sound a bit like some starstruck rural kid who's excited to have the famous celebs from TV visit his dustbowl of a town, but let's zoom out from the fashion show for a sec and examine the bigger picture. There's subtle racial beef in Tshwane, see? Blacks and whites even have different names for the city. While Fashion Week was getting rigged up, a few blocks from City Hall, the Boeremaag were receiving prison sentences for treason and attempting to assassinate Nelson Mandela.

A couple of years ago, the statue of Chief Tshwane outside City Hall was vandalised by persons unknown. I examined it up close at the show and was surprised to find its plaque had been ripped off.

So to me, this was more than just some fashion show with free Amarula flowing like it was the Apies River. It's not every day in Pretoria you get to see cross-dressing Tswanas and Afrikaners strut Paul Kruger Street in high heel boots while Oom Kruger's statue looks on in horror. This event helped defuse mad racial and cultural tension.

If this gig is anything to go by, Tshwane can live up to its slogan as "Africa's leading capital city", in terms of fashion, racial integration, and a few other things too. Just imagine Paul Kruger Square being used as an off-site venue if Fashion Week returns. Eish, let me STFU now, before I also get spray-painted and gagged with the Transvaal flag. I'm sure that by now you Joburgers, Capetonians and even you Durbanites reading this get my point: y'all better watch this city.

Images from: facebook.com/africanfashioninternational